ALFIE BIG ALBUM 2020
the big 1
the one that had to happen
featuring such classics as super mega ukulele (ⓞⓞ)

The first alfie williams release to feature auto-capitalised song titles
(not all caps)
a vomitous display

this could have been 40 songs be happy it's only 14
these aren't even the shit ones !

aint that cute is a song for willet
and scary goose is for lonny
helske de

heres the lyrics to every song as per my social contract with my listener.
it's a lot of lyrics i don't mind typing them up as i'm waiting for a beanburger to cook, one of the new ones from co-op's 'GRO' brand, they're only £1.10 and they're quite nice but they do take 25-28 minutes, i'm not sure why they take so long because they're not particularly chunky as bean burgers go.

LYRICS LYRICS LYRICS LYRICS LYRICS LYRICS LYRICS (not auto-capitalised, got to hold something back for difficult second album)

I Know What You've Been Thinking, That I Always Wear The Same Clothes

I wonder how i'm feeling and if this could ever end well
selling out's no big deal when it's handheld
I know what you've been thinking
and it seems we're in the same boat
if we put our distance in it might float
not capable of sinking
and it sits there, i could tell that
innocence waiting to be uncovered
give or take?
don't give up sane
don't give up sane
don't give up sane
i know what you've been thinking, that i always wear the same clothes
i know what you've been thinking, that i always wear the same clothes

The Borth Of Clawn

Asylum's getting slimed
it's gotten worse than i thought
might stay bored, unstable
it's gotten half an island, half an arm for all the service given
the live stay born, alive came slorn
the five symbol borth of slorn
alive came slorn, the same swayed bored, i swayed more
the borth of clawn,
i stayed born, alive came slorn, the borth of clawn
the borful of clawn
i saved more, the same swayed more, alive came slorn,
the borful of clawn

Big Metal Interlude #1

Ah
ah
ah
ah
ah

Nothing More I Can Do To Help, Alf

Hey my little boy
do you remember when we'd kick a football round and i was your only friend? seems so unreal looking back to me
i've created someone i can't help
hey my little friend
i'm missing you like hell
i know you hate me i just want to wish you well and if you've finally forgiven me i could help you out with cash as well
i've been well
i'm going on holiday with emily
she's going to bury me no doubt
hey my little long haired boy
whats it all about
i'm pretty sure that we could sort this old mess out and i can still feel you next to me
feel your tiny heartbeat and my doubt
and this guilt will never rest in me
created existence with my mouth
and i don't want to nag you, matey
nothing more i can do to help alf
i don't want to nag you, matey
nothing more i can do to help alf

Big Metal Interlude #2

Ah ah
ah ah
ah ah
aah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
ah ah
ah ah
ah ah
aah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
other lies
dumb foul lies
lies
lies
lies

Slime Inside

I'm burnt
flame totally gone but for the flicker of a pilot light
could let it out but it just doesn't seem right
where for someone the night will not be over for some time
felt in my heart that it's been over for a while
we're slime inside
let's fly let's glide let's try
pack up getting everything in boxes
life spent smoking zoots to go with whatever he watches
he's done and got to get another home now
been with you guys too long he don't know how to be alone now
he's tired he's tried
a fairly tall guy
he's fried
wake up and slap yourself around the face kid
you know you're always fine it doesn't matter where your place is
well duh it doesn't matter what your mates did
it doesn't matter if you're missing certain faces
it's one long ride and there's no time like mine

Helion (Torche Cover)

Lyrics unavailable online, and don't have In Return on CD, so just sung it like it sounds. Absolutely no idea what Steve Brooks is going on about for this absolute banger of a tune, i tagged him in a post about it to ask him for the lyrics but he didn't reply after 10 minutes so i deleted the post lol. Please see lyrics to track 13 for more Steve Brooks fun

Ain't That Cute?

I guess we've shaped each other at some points over the years
ain't that cute?
lived together four different times in our formative youth
ain't that cute?
in a lifetime given away
with my world melting away
at least i had a friend over the years
ain't that cute?
he's only racked up two jimmy speshes we let him off on that shit all the time
his behaviour can be weird as fuck he's a very good friend of mine
don't tell him
ain't that cute?
well jimmy's got his two little brothers and one day one of them came to stay
he said we'd really opened him up and changed his brother in a positive way
but don't tell him
ain't that cute?
as he sits there in his way
with his melancholy gaze
wish that i had something to say but i just want him to be near
ain't that cute?

Simple People

'simon has a very bright future'
said his headteacher
'he always was creative
this is just the start'
now he sleeps in a doorway in the laines with a cold cold heart
have you seen the old man
pushing that cart
should have seen his drawing could have made millions off his art
now he dresses in the park dries his arms out after dark
simple simple people
doing less
i don't blame them
he never tolerated working
couldn't hold a job down the repetition always irked him
he let no-one tell him how his life ought to be
a proud man consistently losing artistry
that could never really make anything come to be
and he hopes to make this song be not about me
simple simple people
doing less
i don't blame them
i don't blame them

Super Mega Ukulele (ⓞⓞ)

super mega ukulele, super mega ukulele
super mega ukulele, super mega ukulele
super mega ukulele, super mega ukulele
super mega ukulele, super mega ukulele


Scary Goose

Saw you standing and lost myself again
i don't really mind it but it's true
i'd do anything for you
wish that i could interest you like a phone
when we're alone
but i don't really mind it, it's just you
i'm grateful i've met you
only ever say jag alskar dig to you
but i think i love you
think i hate myself (!) and i think i love you

Waiting For Someone To Come With A Clipboard, Check You Off Their List And Say That It's Time

Waiting for someone to come with a clipboard, check you off their list and say that it's time
waiting for someone to come with a clipboard, check you off their list and say that it's time
waiting for someone to come with a clipboard, check you off their list and say that it's time
waiting for someone to come with a clipboard, check you off their list and say that it's time
waiting for someone to come with a clipboard, check you off their list and say that it's time
and say that it's
time

Going Back To Smallskins

Everyone's a paranoid semi-celebrity
out of control, thinking 'everyone lives better than me'
not giving up until it's gone
i'm not giving up on it til all my weed is gone
i'm going back to smallskins
i'm going back to smallskins
i'm going blue i'm going black going back to smallskins
don't have a minute to wallow about how hollow i am
man, if only steve brooks would follow me back on instagram
i'm only in it for the recognition
sing harmony to all that Lenman's written
i so easily forget the mission
going back to smallskins

Functioning Schizophrenic

Feels like outsider here
born at a bad time in the wrong year
analysing life can really make it feel contrived
i was expected, then
in the wrong now, in the wrong when
i feel my friendships wearing me down
'no finder, no keeper'
i feel like everyone's talking about me
functioning schizophrenic
i can't rest or let it be
i know what's good for me and i don't do it
functioning schizophrenic
i'm an appendage but i got you to get through it
have you ever felt like you were being watched?
focus on what's there, not what's not
where did these people find their lives, and get so dam useful?
i just did what came naturally
still could work out eventually
never doubt what you're supposed to be - you're getting so close now
can't trust the voice that's trying to help me
functioning schizophrenic
i feel like every songs about me
i strike a balance and i'm likely to upset it
functioning schizophrenic
stuff to remember and i got weed to forget it
have you ever felt like you were being watched?
focus on what's there, not what's not


If you care about lyrics and you read these - thanks, it means a lot.